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Of Sibling Rivalry & Favoritism

Tale as old as time..

Growing up, I always thought my mom favored my brother. It is only now that I’m a mother myself that I’ve come to realize love will always, always be EQUAL for all your children. It’s just that my brother sought out our mom more, maybe even loved her more.. needed her more, which is why they have a stronger connection -until now.

I used to wish his horse would gallop to infinity & beyond.
Still do, hehe. (insert evil smile)
Sibling rivalry is cute when you’re small.
But when you’re older, and the stakes are higher & bigger, that’s when the problem starts creeping in. 
Not my mom, not my dad. 😉

True, one child might be particularly closer to you because maybe you have the same interests. Or maybe that child gives you extra attention & seeks you more than the others do. But a mother’s love will ALWAYS be equal for all her children. She will give her liver, spleen, & other vital organs for her children in a heartbeat, without blinking or thinking.

Even as a child, I was very independent. I always did things on my own & wasn’t particularly malambing or touchy-feely to my mom. What’s more, whenever I saw my mom giving special attention to my brother, the green-eyed monster in me made me detach myself even further away so as to not get hurt or affected. So if anybody is to be blamed for the relationship we have now, it would have to be none other than me. But I know deep in my heart that my mom loves me as much as my sibling.. It’s just that he knows how to “work” her more than I’ll ever do. ;))
Some people ask me if ate is my favorite because she is always the topic in my blog, haha. Ate, being the first born, of course will always be special -my first in everything, experience wise. But so is my babyson who is the only boy & is therefore precious in my eyes. And my Lavinia who will always be my cute baby even when she turns 80 years old! ;P Each of them are special to me in their own way but I love them all the same & in equal proportions.
Ate is now in college & legally an adult. So we more or less have the same interests -connect more, and I can drag her to just about anywhere. Places I can’t take the 2 younger ones to -like the bar.. or the casino LELs! ;)) I have come to see her more now as the sister I never had. I consult her with my problems & tell her girly secrets I can never tell the other 2 because the content is way mature! ;P. Sometimes, I really think of her as my ate! An older sibling & the adult in our relationship, haha.
She has come to appreciate me more too, now that she “feels” we’re equal hehe. I’ve noticed that she’s more touchy-feely with me now. She hugs me more & is generous with her kisses & “iloveyous”, holds my hand when we’re in the car. Showers me with compliments, gifts & surprises. Craves more one-on-one time with me. Finally, my sucking up to her all these years worked, yay! ;))
My beautiful swan! <3
My babyson is pa-feeling macho, but deep inside he’s still my baby boy. Just last night, he crawled into bed with me & snuggled until I had to kick him out coz it was bedtime! ;P In public, he send off this strong, macho vibe & shies away when I try to hold his hand, but when I’m feeling melancholy & tell him how he has hurt my emotion, he makes up in the most loving way. <3 I have a feeling he will be my fiercest protector when he grows up a bit more.
My forever baby son! <3
My Lovey, my baby. I miss those days when she would never leave my side & I was her world. But I think transitions are inevitable -and I’m letting her be for now because she needs to explore her options. She is after all a teen, and has “a life”. 😐 I can see a struggle with her wanting to be independent, and another part wanting to be coddled by mommy & still be the baby in the family. She is my staunchest supporter & #1 blog fan. I can drag her to just about anywhere whether she likes it or not & not hear a pip. She would go with me to the ends of the earth.
Even when I do my best to love them all equally & shower them with attention, sibling rivalry is unavoidable. It’s a tale as old as time and started with Cain & Abel (not Beauty & the Beast).
Pero sige na nga, if you really insist & want to know who my favorite is. Heto sya! ;))
Kahit na nuknukan ng kuripot & sungit.. Kapitan K is my most favorite person in the whole wide world!!! ;))
My dear babies, know in your heart that I LOVE YOU THREE EQUALLY. I am, because of you. There will come a time when one is sick, & I will pay more attention to my ailing child. There will be days when one of you will need me more than the other. Understand that I will temporarily devote more time to my child who is in need. But in my heart & mind, you all occupy the same space. And I will hold you there till the end of time. Love you guys to the moon & back. You will always be mommy’s biggest blessings! <3
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6 Comments

  • Reply january

    I feel you here “the green-eyed monster in me made me detach myself even further away so as to not get hurt or affected.” –except for the green-eyed monster (which I already overcome over the years) I still find myself detaching myself especially if the parental favored the favorite one. In our case, it won’t be one and the same. Sigh! 😐

    January 29, 2013 at 8:26 am
  • Reply january

    Btw, this post is really a good read and I admire your inspiration. I hope all Moms out there live out the same. 🙂

    January 29, 2013 at 8:32 am
  • Reply Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice

    Awwww!! :(( Itulak natin sila sa bangin Elna! DALI!!! ;))

    January 29, 2013 at 8:46 am
  • Reply Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice

    thank you, Elna! here's a big bear hug for you!!! >:-*<

    January 29, 2013 at 8:48 am
  • Reply Nicole Avenido

    Very worth-reading. I'm a teen and I always think my parents favors our bunso. I think you just explained things she can't? <3<3<3

    February 12, 2013 at 2:20 am
  • Reply Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice

    Awww I'm glad, Nicole! <3 Maybe you can also do your part & invite your mom or dad for a 1-on-1 time. Sometimes all it takes is us taking the initiative. Mwah! :-*

    February 12, 2013 at 3:42 am
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