They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. But the truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.

My mom has always been there for me. Even at her busiest while I was growing up. Until now that I’m fully grown with a family & kids of my own. It’s easy taking her for granted because I know she’s just there. That whenever I need her, all I need to do is call on her & she’ll be right by my side, making things better, as she always does.


Just a mere couple of days before her stroke. We try to take her out to eat & walk around the mall for a change of scenery when time permits.

My mom didn’t have an easy life raising 2 kids on her own. I remember when I was around 10 or so. My mom got fed up with my dad’s infidelity & promiscuous ways so she packed up & we left for the states. She had a flourishing career & business here but she must’ve snapped. The next thing I know we were on a plane. A woman carrying so many luggages with 2 young kids in tow who couldn’t even help. A mother & her 2 young children off to an uncertain future. And yet, I was assured that everything will be alright, simply because my mom was there.

My kind uncle -her brother, who was based in New York, pitied us & took us in. For a year, my mom struggled reviewing for her medical licensure exam to practice Obstetrics abroad while my brother & I tried to fit in & adapt. She saw an opportunity in California so we moved & stayed there for another year until my dad suffered a stroke, leaving him paralyzed.

Being a christian wife, she decided to uproot us once again, come back home & attend to my dad in spite of all the heartaches & headaches he had given her. Through her deeds I learned loyalty, commitment, and dedication. Upon his death, she settled all the debts & kept the businesses afloat. She took over all his businesses & put everything in order and at the same time being a full-time mom to us 24/7 -never neglecting her duties to us even for a moment. Through her actions I learned strength. Amazingly strong, resilient woman, my mom is. She is my hero. My awe & respect for her grew even more.

Even now -up until her stroke, she provided heavily for all our needs. Not just materially & financially, but more importantly emotionally, spiritually, mentally. Whenever I have a problem, all I need to do is tell her & she would hold my hand & pray with me and for me. That has always been her answer to all of life’s mysteries. Prayer.

My mom is so selfless. She doesn’t oblige us to visit her. She’s happy when we’re there, she understands when we cannot. She doesn’t impose. I have asked her time & again to stay with us in our home. But she wisely imparted it is not good for a family to have a meddling mother-in-law around.


PicMonkey Collage

Mom at her pad. The girls decided to spruce it up a bit with a puny christmas tree.

Sometimes my heart would bleed knowing here we are, eating up a bounty & my mom would eat what is just readily available in her kitchen. No fuss. Or when there is a storm & we are safely ensconced in our warm cocoon surrounded by family while my mom is all alone in her home.


Blessed that my MIL shows so much love & care to my mom. They are practically BFFs.

It took this massive stroke for me to wake up & see her, really SEE her. An 84 year old frail woman who simply can no longer live on her own but is way too loving & way too considerate to impose. My world crumbled when I thought I was going to lose this important person who has been the one constant figure in my life.

All her life she has toiled & troubled. It is now time for her to enjoy the fruits of her labor & it is my duty to make sure that she does. Sometimes, what we say & what we mean are 2 different things. She may be saying one thing but from now on, I will listen to her heart & not her words. Who doesn’t want to be loved & pampered? Who doesn’t want to be cherished?


As I sat in the hospital day by day watching my mom, I can’t help but feel a deep sadness. It pains me to see my mom this way. Before the stroke, my mom was an active head of her own companies. She was able to make wise decisions as President & Chairman of the board. She would do her usual rounds & interact freely with her employees. Once a week she would do her groceries & take these to her grandchildren. She would spend time with them & go home after dinner. Once a week she would walk to her church & attend prayer service, have fellowhsip with her cell group, and participate in praise & worship. Once a week at least, we would go to the mall. She would walk around with me to window shop & we would talk about anything under the sun as we enjoy a hearty lunch. Her mind was very clear for her age of 84. We would talk about my many plans & we would dream of visiting places together. In an instant, her quality of life diminished. Now, her memory fails her. She is easily agitated & fearful. She doesn’t want to eat as her taste buds have been altered resulting from the stroke. She has numerous infections brought about by the catheter as she cannot pass urine & stool on her own. She cannot comprehend like before & is oftentimes confused. She cannot walk or move around unassisted by her round the clock nurses. This is what a vibrant & active lady has been reduced to. My mom is now bedridden -with bed sores & rashes, and is not even half the woman that she used to be. She was a brilliant Obstetrician, a President of her companies, a mother we could always run to, a grandmother the kids can always depend on. But I would take her any way I can. Every added day with her is a bonus that I would take with gratitude.

Seeing her lying there in the ICU, I asked God to give me some more time with my mom to make up for my shortcomings. I’ve been so much of a wife & mother that I conveniently forgot & neglected to be a daughter. God willing, I want us to travel, see and experience new things together while we still can, while there is still time for me to be with her. She has been so busy all her life that she didn’t get the chance to see the world. I don’t want it to be too late, this is my second chance to do right by her. I want her to eat good food & never want for anything. I want her to feel safe & loved with someone taking care of her instead of the other way around. She’s been taking care of so many people all her life. It’s time she is on the receiving end.

PicMonkey Collage

Many thanks to your prayers & well wishes, my mom was discharged the other day after our 2-week stay.

Through these difficult times, people have been asking me “What do you need? What you want?” Thank you. For now, with what I already have at the moment, I just need my mom. I just want my mom. <3


Now, she is finally where she belongs. With me. <3



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  • Reply Chel

    I am so glad to know she’s discharged and doing better now. I have been waiting for this post.

    Miss Jane, you know what, na touch ako sa pic ng MIL mo and your mom. That’s rare ha, na BFFs ang dalawang mommies ng magasawa.

    December 7, 2015 at 8:06 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Oo nga chel kaya hindi ko magawa i-resent talaga kasi love sya ni MIL & inaalagaan. Thank you Chel! :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 8:21 am
  • Reply drrayms

    Glad that your mom is ok!:-)

    December 7, 2015 at 8:13 am
  • Reply Noel Q.

    *sniff* *sniff* di ako maka-type ng maayos kse umiiyak ako… so glad your mom’s okay Jane… *sniff*

    December 7, 2015 at 8:17 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      You owe me a big hug ha Niel I need one. :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 8:22 am
  • Reply wheng cheng

    salamat. salamat kasi you made me realize what i am neglecting.

    good thing that u had your one-more-chance moment with your mom.

    enjoy life with her…..

    December 7, 2015 at 8:57 am
  • Reply Erika

    Naiyak naman ako. I love the pic of your Mom and MIL. they are BFFs talaga. Thank God your mom is discharged in the hospital. Will still continue to pray for her. She is a superwoman Mom. alam ko na kanino ka nagmana.

    December 7, 2015 at 9:16 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Erika. Hay naku kaming goppet gals malalakas ang dugong nananalaytay. Kawawang Kap hehe.

      December 7, 2015 at 10:46 am
  • Reply Judy

    Ms Jane, glad to know that your mom is now ok.
    God Bless Her with more years to spend with you & your family.

    December 7, 2015 at 9:45 am
  • Reply jo

    napuno po nanaman ang aking puso sa inyong kwento…i pray that you will have a loooonnnngggg time to show your appreciation to your mom! :)

    December 7, 2015 at 11:23 am
  • Reply Cherrie Lou Vivares

    Big Hug to you Mam Jane

    December 7, 2015 at 11:55 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Receiving it with a grateful heart, Cherrie Lou! :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 4:14 pm
  • Reply Grace castro

    I cried a bucket of tears Ms. Jane. I’m happy your mom is okay now. I’ll pray that God will grant her more years to spend with you and your family.

    December 7, 2015 at 12:03 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Grace I truly appreciate your prayers. <3

      December 7, 2015 at 4:15 pm
  • Reply Jane

    Hi Jane,

    So glad your mom is home with you now. God is good. Was teary-eyed reading your blog. Praise the Lord for hearing our prayers for your mom.

    May you have a meaningful Christmas. God bless your heart!

    December 7, 2015 at 12:35 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Amen. God is really good I thank Him for his mercies. <3

      December 7, 2015 at 4:16 pm
  • Reply ai-lyn

    Mommy Jane, your mom is a certified “Selfless mother”. I am so happy that she lives with you & family now. Surely a speed recovery day by day will be seen. I admire your mom so sooooo much :) I will continue pray for her health.

    December 7, 2015 at 12:48 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Ai-lyn. Yes I am so happy I an given this chance to do right by her. :)

      December 7, 2015 at 4:16 pm
  • Reply Cherryll

    I rarely comment these past few days but I cannot let this one pass. I am so glad your Mom is ok and getting better. Na-touch din ako sa photo nila ni MIL mo. Be strong, Ms. Jane. God bless you!

    December 7, 2015 at 1:16 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Cherryll. With comments or wala, I feel your love & sincerity. :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 4:17 pm
  • Reply Janet

    Naiyak naman ako, Ms. Jane. We always take our moms for granted. It’s never too late for us to show our love and concern. Thanks for writing this article!

    December 7, 2015 at 1:18 pm
  • Reply Ayie

    Hi Ms. Jane, I’ve been a silent reader of your blog and mostly enjoyed your posts but this particular post really moved me to tears. I can truly relate to you..each and every word. My heart is crying yet happy that you have been given a second chance with your Mom. I dearly hope that you get to spend more precious time together! God bless.

    December 7, 2015 at 2:20 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank yoh Ayie. <3 It's like I'm seeing her for the first time & I just want to please her. I hope the good Lord will allow her to have more years to spend with us. :)

      December 7, 2015 at 8:20 pm
  • Reply jhem mace

    Hi Ms. Jane,

    I am very happy for you na she is out of the hospital na. I include her na in my prayers :-)

    I became a silent reader for a while because of workloads in our office (finishing a never-ending deadlines), I can’t help but send a reply now because 1) your post made my cry, I remember my mom :-( and 2) may gusto akong i-suggest hehehe

    I have a suggestion to prevent bed sores/rashes – use a fresh banana leaf on her back (without the stalks), inside her blouse. I find it really effective at the back of my mom when she was bedridden for several weeks. Her back did not sweat (the room was not airconditioned), so she did not have rashes/bed sores because the leaf feels so cool at the back. :-) suggestion lang naman po

    I pray that she gets fully recovered soon :-)

    About the e-pass in your other post, you can avail an RFID sticker for free, limited offer lang po ito (until maka 100,000 free stickers na naipamigay). Ma-phe-phase out na daw po ang epass eventually. You can ask po a person in a tollgate where to get it. Im not sure kasi if they have an office in Alabang. Just bring an OR CR and an ID to avail it. And they require you to just pre-load it in the amount of 500 pesos. Ok lang din po kung gusto nyo ng mas higher amount :-)

    December 7, 2015 at 2:21 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Wow thank you so so much for your suggestions Jhem! <3 And also for taking the time to write me. I really appreciate the kindness of strangers, especially your prayers. I feel your love. Thank you, will most certainly take your advice. Hope to hear from you again, mwah! :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 8:18 pm
  • Reply KassTastrophic

    Oh, Mommy Jane! I am SO very happy that Auntie is out of the hospital na. I hope she has agreed to stay with you, YAY!

    So sweet yung photo nila ng MIL mo. Bihira yan, yung BFF’s ang mom and MIL. Heehee.

    I am so happy for your kiddos too, they have more time with their grandma. Every single day is indeed a blessing. I’m happy she’s back with you and not in the hospital anymore. :)

    December 7, 2015 at 2:51 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hi kassie! :) Yes she is staying with me na. Wala na syang magagawa hindi sya makalakad paalis hehe. Thank you for always sharing not just in my happiness but also in my pain. I appreciate your friendship. :-*

      December 7, 2015 at 8:16 pm
  • Reply Frannywanny

    Hi Jane,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s stroke but I’m glad that she’s on her way to recovery now. I remember emailing you a couple of months back (I hope you got that) sharing with you my realisations on how life can be so unpredictable and yes I agree with you, sometimes we’re just so busy doing so many things that we fail to take notice and give attention to the most impt people who are just standing in front of us not making any fuss or a whim. Wishing for your mom’s full recovery soon.

    – Fran

    December 7, 2015 at 4:28 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hi franny! Thank you for your well wishes & for reaching out to me. I appreciate it. Yes indeed, life is short & unpredictable so we have to show our love to those who count most for as long as we can. Sorry also about your amah’s passing. I know how close you were to her. I wish you & Paul a happy christmas. :)

      December 7, 2015 at 8:14 pm
      • Reply frannywanny

        Hi Jane,

        It was nice to hear from you. I was wondering nga how you were when I haven’t heard from you for so long. Wishing you & your family a happy and merry Christmas ahead. Will be including your mom in my prayers. I’m sure she’ll be back to her normal routine in no time. She seems like a fighter. Just keep the faith!

        December 8, 2015 at 12:16 am
        • Reply sugargospice

          Yes she is. :) Even the doctors were amazed. Thank you franny!

          December 8, 2015 at 8:18 am
  • Reply Susan F

    Hello Jane,
    I cried again…but this time with tears of joy. Napakabait ng ating Panginoon. Yan lang, yan lang ang masasabi ko. Salamat Panginoon.

    December 7, 2015 at 8:17 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Amen. Thank you Susan for your prayers. It is really what has sustained me, my mom, and the rest of our family. <3

      December 7, 2015 at 8:19 pm
  • Reply rocynderella

    Naiyak ako! I can feel the overflowing love! I’m glad you mom is okay now and that you are together na. I wish your family good health! God bless…

    December 7, 2015 at 10:16 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Rocyn! <3 I've missed you. Happy christmas.

      December 8, 2015 at 8:26 am
  • Reply jopet

    Hi Jane!

    Thank you for sharing this. I was blessed with the opportunity to take care of my amah for the past twelve years and I tell you it was not easy. It will get hard and tiring (changing diapers, bed sores, tantrums, etc) to the point that I never had a vacation or time for myself, but those years were the best years of my life and I don’t mind doing it for a lifetime.

    Like you I am also Filipino-Chinese and parental piety is a big deal for us, Tsinoys. I hope this new chapter in your life gives you meaning when you feel lost, bottomless patience when you are tempted to get angry and serenity in accepting God’s will and design for us all.

    God bless you and hugs to your mom :)

    December 8, 2015 at 2:47 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      I am so blessed to have round the clock caregivers for my mom or i’d really go crazy if I were to care for her 24/7 myself on top of my duties as a mom & wife. As it is now, I’m still adjusting & learning how to divide my time equally. Everyone is also adjusting at having to share me, lol. But I’m happy that my mom is here & happier even that my MIL relieves me from time to time. Thank you Jopet! :)

      December 8, 2015 at 8:25 am
  • Reply nina

    Hi Miss Jane, I’m a silent reader of your blog, and I felt deeply touched by this post. My mom passed away 10 years ago when I was still starting my career. Now that I have a bit of success, I think of a multitude of things and experiences I could have given my mom if she was still alive. Like you, I’ve seen my mom stuggle to provide a good life for me and my siblings and she’s the reason I grew up a strong woman who will not compromise .

    hugs to you and your family!

    December 8, 2015 at 7:17 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hi nina. <3 I'm sure that your mom is smiling at you from heaven above & she is mighty proud of your accomplishments. As daughters, that is our fervent wish, isn't it? To be able to give back for all the love & sacrifices of our parents. Sending you a big hug. Hope to meet you someday so I can give you a real one. :-*

      December 8, 2015 at 8:59 pm
  • Reply med

    I’m so happy for you and your family. It is indeed a very merry Christmas for everyone! Pakisabi kay Mommy dearest: FIGHTING!!!
    May God continue to bless her.

    December 9, 2015 at 8:58 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Yes in Jesus’ name. Thank you Meding! <3

      December 9, 2015 at 10:26 am
  • Reply Maria bida

    Hi miss jane! I am your avid fan, since i dont know when. I stumbled upon your blog when i think i was searching for a new restaurant and you featured it. And then i got to see your stories about your daughter who is taking bs bio in ust and is planning to pursue medicine. I really enjoyed your stories of your family more so of your restaurant reviews. I was a graduate of bs bio in ust last 2006 and also took up med, also in ust. i just finished my residency this year. I was able to read your blog from start to finish more than my med books… Really! I really enjoyed reading your blog and i dont have any plans of commenting or introducing myself to you. But bec of this entry, i had the guts to. My lola just died last year and i grew up under her supervision. And she has the most selfless love for me (i might get into trouble with my mom bec of this.. But i also love her!) I thank god that you were given another chance to spend time with her. And i pray for her speedy recovery. :)

    December 9, 2015 at 11:56 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you so much for sharing your life with me & my readers, Maria. And wow! Congratulations, hindi biro ang med proper. Jana is fixing her applications now & she is all nerves. I’m sure your lola is looking down on you from heaven above & is so very proud of all your accomplishments. All the best to you & I hope to “hear” from you again. Mwah! :-*

      December 9, 2015 at 3:17 pm
  • Reply JOty

    HI Ms. Jane, am so happy naka-uwi na your mom. Glad that she’s staying with you too now, more time spent together to build more memories. will continue to pray for her healing :) ang cute na bati ang both mothers… bff pa at that.
    Am just so happy with this news, really can so relate to you and your posts.. sobrang close to home.. na naiiyak na ako just writing my comment… am really glad that you continue to share your stories through your blog. God Bless you and the Goppets :)

    December 10, 2015 at 5:46 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Jo I appreciate all the well wishes & prayers. I’m so happy with all the outpouring of love we are receiving! :-*

      December 10, 2015 at 10:10 pm
  • Reply Eileen

    Sending both you and your Mom lots of hugs and prayers.

    December 11, 2015 at 5:42 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Accepting it with a glad & happy heart. Thank you Eileen. :-*

      December 12, 2015 at 1:55 pm
  • Reply Kei Aclaro

    Ms. Jane, late man po ang aking comment, I am really happy that you’re mom is given a new leash in life… The Lord is really great! May she fully recover so that you can explore the world together with the GOppets. Naiyak po ako ng bongga now hindi dahil sa sobrang painful ng back ko kundi sobrang andaming naipa realize sa akin ng post mo na ito… Thank you for giving us all a wakeup call… God bless you always po…

    December 11, 2015 at 11:54 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      I hope your back will heal properly Kei. Ang hirap ng immobile si Mommy tinitignan ko now na naka-wheelchair napaka-hirap nang hindi makagalaw on your own. Wishing you well Kei. Always. <3

      December 12, 2015 at 1:58 pm
  • Reply Jackie Uy

    I’m happy that she’s now home with you and recovering well. Will continue praying for her Ms Jane :) take care too!

    December 15, 2015 at 9:53 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you so much Jackie. Super appreciate the love & prayers! :-*

      December 15, 2015 at 4:29 pm
  • Reply edelweiza

    Good to know she’s with you already. God is really good and He will surely give you ample time to take care of her. Nakakaiyak ang post na to. Lahat ng anak makaka-relate. :)

    December 15, 2015 at 12:56 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Amen to that Edel. Thank you, mwah! :-*

      December 15, 2015 at 4:30 pm
  • Reply Stephani Macalino

    Oh em. Salamat naman and okay na po Mom niyo, Mommy Jane! Can’t imagine how scared you must have felt. :(

    I hope for continued improvement in your Mom’s health!

    December 17, 2015 at 6:40 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Steph. I’m so happy that’s all over now. Major stress, tumanda talaga ako bigla, naglabasan white hair ko huhu.

      December 17, 2015 at 8:39 am
  • Reply christine

    I’ll pray for your mom’s and family continuous good heath. God bless always!

    December 19, 2015 at 11:42 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Christine, appreciate it. Mwah! :-*

      December 19, 2015 at 12:13 pm

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