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The Essence of My Existence

Sometimes, the kids use my jurassic laptop for homework & stuff because I have Microsoft Office & they don’t.  It’s too expensive to install 3 licensed softwares in 3 different Mac laptops. So theirs is just the Open Office which came with the laptops, and they’re not used to it.


Anyway, one day as I was cleaning my desktop from all their “junk”, I chanced upon this. And it really melted my heart! <3 

 

I’m sharing it with you so you can recognize the dynamics in our family.

 

 

 

Ate’s Essay for her religion class..

 

I look upon my life and see how truly blessed I am. Every night I thank God for allowing me to be raised by a Christian family in a Christian community. I give emphasis to the word Christian because it is through my faith, I believe, that I have found my reason to live and my reasons to keep living. I am thankful for living in a Christian community because I can have a strong belief without getting persecuted for it. And, I say Christian family because I was brought up with certain values that, I have found, are detrimental in living life to the fullest.

 

I would like to begin by discussing my reason to live. I believe in the saying that God has already planned our lives even before we came into existence. I believe that he placed certain influences in my life to direct me to the path I am on now. I believe He has taught me certain lessons to prepare me for what lies ahead. And, I believe He has allowed me to go through certain pains and hardships so that I may understand my wrongs and change my ways.

 

Throughout my life, I’ve encountered multiple groups of people that I have had the pleasure of knowing and learning from. I went from group to group, constantly changing the people I chose to surround myself with. The reason for the change, though, varied. Sometimes, it would happen naturally. Other times, it was premature. But, every time, I came out with a realization and a new perspective.

 

The first group taught me that nothing in this world is permanent except change. We can’t rely on people to be the same forever. Everyone eventually grows up and moves on. Another group taught me that real friends don’t drop you as soon as they get what they need. They taught me not to be so naive. Trust needs to be earned. Another taught me how to be strong, how to stand up for myself, and how to fight back. Only I have the power to make myself feel inferior. I learned how to be independent. Another taught me that some things are out of our control. When you can no longer hold on, to the point that it destroys you and the relationships you have with the people around you, there is nothing left to do but let go. I’ve been both the bully and the bullied. I’ve felt what it was like to have too much power and have that power get to your head. I’ve also felt what it was like to have absolutely no power, to be ostracized, to be on the outside looking in. The list goes on but it is through these humbling experiences that I have learned the real definition of respect. I learned not just to respect others, but to respect myself as well.

 

This then brings us to my reason to live. I believe that everything I have gone through in my life has a purpose, whether it be to teach, to inspire, or to apply. I have been placed in situations that could have gone totally different were it not for the things I have learned. I, too, believe that we affect the lives of everyone we meet. We unconsciously send ripples, which can turn into waves, remain ripples, or disappear altogether. We can alter the course of history with a random action. Domino effect, butterfly effect, call it whatever you want. But me, I see it as God’s carefully thought out and carried out plan for every one of us. I like to believe I was placed on this earth to change someone’s life. Maybe it was to become a doctor and save some little girl’s parent from going before his or her time? Or maybe it was to talk a friend out of a bad decision? It could even be as trivial as holding up a line at the grocery, delaying the next customer by five minutes, and preventing him from getting into a car accident.

 

By now you must have come to the conclusion that I believe in a lot of things. I believe in God, I believe in a great purpose, I believe in numerous sayings, and I believe God has placed me in this family for a reason — which brings us to my second point: my reasons for living.

 

I think I differ from a lot of people my age in the sense that I feel most complete when I’m with my family and we are complete. I don’t feel the need to go out and party to have a good time. I enjoy spending time with my family regardless of where we are or what we are doing. I do not have the need to fill an emptiness with vices. I don’t feel the need to get a boyfriend either. I’m not looking for love because my life is already filled to the brim with it. I am able to tolerate any obstacle, and I am able to push myself harder everyday because of the amazing support system I have back home. I am grateful for the parents that have been bestowed upon me. They can be all wisdom-giving one second but my best friends the next. They can act years beyond their age when they give advice, but they can also be more childish and playful than I am. This is why I tell them anything and everything. I don’t hide things from them because we’ve established a relationship with trust as a foundation. They help me face problems I wouldn’t be able to handle on my own. I am also grateful for my brother and my sister. It is because of them I am on my best behavior. I want to set a good example. Being the eldest, I pave the way so they can follow in my footsteps. They not only make me want to become a better person, but they make me a better person.

 

Together, they give me a reason to live. Together, they are my reasons for living.

I really cried buckets of tears after having read it. Sure, ate writes & expresses herself so well -better than me actually, but it’s the underlying message that really got to me. I feel so blessed & joyous to have such a wonderful, appreciative being for a daughter. We are not perfect parents, but the seeing the kids grow up so loving towards one another & towards us, so well-grounded, makes us very proud & happy.
Kap & my kids are my bestest friends. They fulfill me, and complete me. In every aspect. Yes, I devote all my time to them, but it is my choice. Just as not working or having a career is my choice. Because I want to be home, ready & available whenever my family wants or needs me. They hold top priority in my life. Everything & everyone else is secondary.

 

 

And looking at the relationship I have with them, I can’t say that I have any regrets. Where most husband & kids can’t seem to get far enough away from their family, mine can’t wait to come home to me & be with me. For me, my life is perfect as it is. It may be hard for some to understand, or relate to, but for me, family is the essence of my existence. Not friends, not work, not career, not fame. But family.

 

My daily dose of sweetness: Ate coming home with pasalubong for her mommy. <3

We have brainwaves. That same day, I saw a picture of yummy bread on instagram & coveted them.
Without me telling her, ate went to a bakeshop after school to get me freshly baked goodies to try because she also saw bloggers posting this left & right and she didn’t want me feeling left behind. :)

My yummy baked goodies made extra special because ate bought them for me. She always comes home with little surprises & I appreciate her very much. I wouldn’t trade what I have with Kap & the kids for anything in the world. <3
 
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22 Comments

  • Reply ewok1993

    that is a proof (although you don’t need it) that you have done a magnificent job as a mom :)

    February 2, 2014 at 10:08 am
  • Reply Cherx Tria Santelices Uchi

    What a beautiful essay! Ate really writes very well. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam ko after reading this post. I am currently reading “The Purpose Driven Life”, is this a coincidence or what? haha

    February 2, 2014 at 10:10 am
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Yes si ate ang dapat maging blogger at hindi ako haha. I’ve also read the purpose driven life, It’s a great read. Enjoy! :-*

      February 2, 2014 at 10:21 am
  • Reply Candid Ventura

    You have raised the kids well with love and affection mommy Jane :) that’s why they are giving back all the love and kindness too.
    I can only hope and pray that my Kaye will grow up to be like Ate or Lovey.Happy Sunday! I miss you and hope to see you soon:)

    February 2, 2014 at 10:13 am
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Thank you Candid. I’m sure your Kaye will love you as much. Like me, grabe ka rin makapag-PA sa kanya haha. Pareho tayo dakilang alalay! ;))

      February 2, 2014 at 10:22 am
  • Reply Chesca Labaro

    Hi Ms. Jane, I admire how you raised your kids. How I wish my daughter will be as sweet as your eldest, or maybe all your kids. hehe Parenting tips naman po dyan. I’m a young mother and to be honest I’m so not sure how parenting should be, although I still have my mom to guide me she’s in the other side of the world so mostly umaasa lang ako sa sariling diskarte ko. haha. Feeling close sa paghingi ng advice oh. LOL

    February 2, 2014 at 1:32 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      hahaha you’re so funny. :) I think it’s innate naman talaga the morher-child bond & love. We just need to nurture it. Plus I’m really blessed that i can be a stay-at-home mom so I am able spend time with them. I pick them up from school, we have meryenda & talk about the silliest things. I make them my priority in life. There’s no secret naman. We just have to be their mom. <3

      February 2, 2014 at 1:50 pm
  • Reply Emily Go

    I’ve been a fan following your posts both here in wordpress and on IG, Ms. Jane. I have to admit that I have since been a fan of Ate na din mas lalo na now. It shows how well talaga you’ve raised your kids.

    February 2, 2014 at 1:52 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Awwww thank you Emily but they really are great kids I’m so blessed with them. Hindi sila mahirap palakihin at mahalin. :)

      February 2, 2014 at 1:53 pm
  • Reply Michelle Melo (@michymichymoo)

    I believe your kids are truly loving and caring because they grew up with so much love from their parents. Good job, Kap and Mama Bear! :)

    February 2, 2014 at 5:45 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Thank you so much baby beary for always supporting me. Mwah! :-*

      February 2, 2014 at 9:58 pm
  • Reply Med Tan (@Dandasha_8D)

    Priceless… Bravo, my dearest Jane! Kaya idol ko kayo ni Kap, eh!!!

    And to Ate Jana, YOU. ARE. AMAZING.

    February 2, 2014 at 5:50 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Hahaha dakilang PA lang talaga ako. Mabait lang talaga the kids. :)

      February 2, 2014 at 6:12 pm
  • Reply Jeng del Rosario

    :D :D :D I have nothing to say but you are soooo lucky and blessed mama bear!!!! definitely! :D :D : …… btw… the cookies from Eric are to die for … drool!!!!! and Out of topic but Walking dead is coming na!!! So excitedddddd!!!!!! Braaaaaainssss!!! We should definitely eat out soon daming chika here and there!! bwhahahaha!!!!

    February 2, 2014 at 6:13 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Oh yes I can’t sit still anticipating the continuation of TWD!!! I’m sooooo excited hahaha. Kasundo talaga kita basta zombies & food! ;))

      February 2, 2014 at 9:57 pm
  • Reply eileenjoy13

    The love of a family is indeed life’s greatest blessings Jane! You and Jeff are truly blessed to have such wonderful and amazing children. Hats off to you guys for raising them well…. ❤️

    February 3, 2014 at 7:13 am
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      haha oo sorry eileen sila talaga ang addiction ko ;)) 1 hour nga lang nami-miss ko na sila sobra.

      February 3, 2014 at 8:01 am
  • Reply edelweiza

    Awwwww, that essay Jana wrote is very honest and insightful. If I were her mother, I would have cried buckets, too. It’s like I’m seeing what’s exactly inside my daughter’s heart. I will stop saying you’re lucky to have wonderful kids, I’ll just say you’re doing a great job as a mom for having them appreciate their parents, their family and their lives that much. :)

    February 3, 2014 at 2:51 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      Thank you Edel! :) She really expresses herself well. Sabi ko nga mali yata ang course na pinasukan nya haha. Dapat sa media sya or lawyer! :))

      February 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm
  • Reply Didi T

    Jane, CONGRATULATIONS. You raised them well. What Ate wrote is so heartwarming and is a validation of how good you are of a person! The love that I see between you, kap and your kids – its so wonderful and so inspiring! I want my kids to be able to feel the way ate feels, I want to be able to read Kailee write something like that. WOW Jane. WOW. It must have felt good to read an essay like that, I swear! Kasi alam mo you did something right, diba? I wish you have a ‘How to be a Mom’ seminar. Kasi kasi the love the kids have for you? Its so nakakatuwa bordering – I want to have that in my life too!! Stalker.. Hahaha!! :)

    Jane, you truly are a magnificent person inside and out. I can feel your sincerity, love and compassion for things. The world needs more people like you! Hawaan mo pa kami, please!! :)

    I will print out that essay and keep a copy, PROOF yan! Hahaha..

    Love you Jane! Forever!

    Love, Didi

    February 4, 2014 at 3:15 pm
    • Reply Sugar and Spice

      awwwww thank you naman didi so heart-warming!! <3 But I can't take all the credit haha mababait talaga sila by nature. Buti na lang! And lalangawin ang seminar ko baka ikaw lang ang a-attend kasi ikaw lang ang may love for me, lels! ;))

      February 5, 2014 at 8:19 am

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