Today marks the 1st day of the fasting week for our church. I’ve been with CCF for a number of years now, and every year I don’t give this ritual a second thought -I love food too much to stay away from it haha. But today, listening to pastor Joby explain & expound on fasting, I felt the Holy Spirit talking to me, moving me & claiming my soul that left me crying & emotional. Yes, even after the service & we were walking towards the car I was still cyring. Not because I was sad, fearful or in anguish. But I believe I was really filled with the Holy Spirit that I couldn’t control my emotions. No joke.
My 1st day of Prayer & Fasting. I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me. Note to self: During times of weakness, duct tape over the mouth helps. A LOT! LOL-jk! ;))
Kidding aside, I asked God to help me because I really want to do this. So far, he has made me feel full & determined. Yay! m/
I was crying for the overwhelming gratitude & thankfulness for all my blessings. Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined to live the life I have now. I am surrounded with people I love so much & who love me back. I have a wonderul husband who continue to love me & care for me. I have 3 beautiful healthy children who never cease to make me laugh & fill my life with joy & happiness & love. My home is exactly that -a HOME. Something I never ever had before.
I cried for the fear that has been nagging my soul. Fear of the future, fear of “what ifs”. Fear of losing & being left behind. Fear of leaving. Ever since the accident, I’ve been doubly scared. I try so hard to keep the kids living in a bubble, fearful for their safety & well being that I’m shielding them from wonderful new experiences & adventures trying to keep them alive. Yes. I’m so afraid of the D word that I can’t even mention it.
I cried for backsliding. I used to read the bible every night before going to sleep. I’ve read the Book cover to cover -twice. And then I stopped. Even in church, though we make it a point never to miss a single service, I find my mind drifting off someplace else as if I’m floating.
I cried for the frustration. There’s this request I’ve been asking God. This is the 3rd year that I’ve been begging Him for it. Every year as December nears, my frustration grows even more thinking He would not grant me my request. I feel hopeless & bound at the wrists.
Am I expecting miracles from this fasting & prayer? No. But I’m HOPING. I haven’t felt close to God for so long that I WANT to fast if it’s the only way to go back to Him. I want to be able to TALK to Him & tell Him all my fears & doubts, wishes & dreams. And BELIEVE that He is LISTENING.
What is FASTING?
Normal Fast – A person goes without food for a predetermined amount of time. 1 day, 3 days, 1 weekk or longer. Water is allowed & necessary of course. Extreme care should be taken with long fasts, especially if there are underlying medical conditions. It is wise to consult your physician if you are planning on embarking on a long fast.
Partial Fast – This fast allows food, or is on a schedule that includes eating, 1 meal or 2 meals a day, or only eating vegetables for several days. This is a better option for those who cannot do a water fast.
Juice Fast – This is the same as normal fast except the one fasting also eats fresh vegetables or drinks fruit juices.
Objects Fast – Some people decide to fast on something completely unrelated to food, such as TV or computer time.
Since I am diabetic (thus the gazillion ampalaya in our cart) & undergoing maintenance medications for my many many health ailments, I am doing the JUICE FAST. My hunny, who is supporting me on my quest bless his heart, took me grocery shopping for my juicer. Look at our oh so green cart haha..
During a Fast:
Seek the Lord – Commit to prayer & bible reading during the times you allocate for meals. For what you don’t eat physically you should compensate for spiritually. CCF has daily evening prayers this week from 7-8 pm in case you are interested in joining.
Commit to Change – If there are habits that need to change, make the adjustment immediately. If you need to make restitution, contact people you have broken relationships with.
Pray for suggested Items – Let’s use this time to intercede for our family, for our country, the government. Christians around the world, missions.
My specific prayers are as follows:
1.) Personal breakthrough – spiritual revival, physical healing, breaking of bad habits (including my nasty spending habits), Christ-like character.
Saturate your mind with the Word of the Lord – We must fill our mind with the Word of God & saturate it fully. Although our body may hunger, our sol must be filled with the spiritual food that we crave & that is enough to strengthen us to deny our flesh.
Put yourself on a schedule – Set aside ample time to be alone with the Lord. Listen for His leading. The more time you spend with Him, the more meaningful your fast will be.
Attend evening watch
Have the right motive. – Remember that your motive in fasting must be to glorify God, to LISTEN to Him & be more intimate with Him. When your motives are right, God will honor your seeking heart & bless your time with Him in a very special way.
I’m not fasting because I want to jumpstart my diet. Although this can correct my way of eating & start me to a better eating path, losing weight is not my end goal. And it shouldn’t be yours too. Otherwise it will be called a diet & not fasting. I am going way deeper into this than just dieting. I really want to get closer to God & talk to Him as I never did before.
I have made You too small in my eyes O Lord, forgive me; I have believed in a lie That You were unable to help me. But now, O Lord, I see my wrong Heal my heart and show Yourself strong; And in my eyes and with my song O Lord, be magnified O Lord, be magnified. Be magnified, O Lord You are highly exalted; And there is nothing You can’t do O Lord, my eyes are on You. Be magnified, O Lord, be magnified. I have leaned on the wisdom of men O Lord, forgive me; And I have responded to them Instead of Your light and Your mercy. But now, O Lord, I see my wrong Heal my heart and show Yourself strong; And in my eyes with my song O Lord, be magnified O Lord, be magnified.