Parenting (part 3) – Teach Intentionally

It was another great sunday yesterday! We had pastor Tan Chi again as speaker via video, but it’s just like he was with us in person by the way the congregation sat up eagerly & attentively to listen to his preaching.

There’s something about the life of Pastor Tan Chi that commands attention, respect & awe. You can see how God truly works in his life by the close relationship he has with his family. It’s really inspiring to listen to him recount his own experiences, and even his grown children share what they learned growing up in his household. He walks the talk that is why when he speaks, you know he speaks from his heart. And that’s what makes him an effective & well-loved pastor.

Here are some of his words of wisdom for this series:

When parents commit to love God with all their heart, all their soul, all their might and all their strength,they leave their children a legacy that will last an eternity.
God tasked the parents to intentionally teach their children as a way of life. They are to teach them good habits, good manners, values, character, and most importantly, about God.

What God wants children to learn about themselves:

  1. God sees them as special (Psalm 139:14)

    They become what the most important person in their life think they are. If your children hear you call them “good-for-nothing”, most likely, that is what they will be. First John 3:1-2 says, “See how great love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.”
  2. God has a wonderful plan for them (Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:11)

    The Bible says your children are God’s master pieces whom He created for a good purpose. When they see a vision of what they can become, this will motivate them to excel in academics, sports, or in the arts.
  3. God wants them to be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

    Thankfulness is a command. Gratitude makes them emotionally healthy. Teach your children to be thankful for everything, including the unchangeables: their parents, siblings, their gender, order of birth, race, country, physical features and time in history.
  4. God wants them to be responsible for their choices (Galatians 6:7)

    Teach your children freedom of choice but also that their choices come with consequences. For example, if they don’t take care of their health, they become prone to sickness. We are free to choose but weare not free to escape the consequences of our decisions.

        God wants them to develop self-esteem, and not self-confidence which leads to pride (Philippinas 4:13)

    What God wants children to learn about friends:

    1. Be friendly but choose your friends carefully (Proverbs 13:20,1 Corinthians 15:38)

      Remember that “bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)
    2. Setting priorities is important

      God should be the first priority in your child’s life, then family, then studies and responsibilities, and finally, friends.
    3. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend before being ready to marry (HS, college) is impractical

      Not having romantic relationships early on allows your children Five Freedoms: 1) freedom from distraction from their studies, 2) freedom from the unnecessary pain of a breakup, 3) freedom from isolation from other friends, 4) freedom to develop God’s special gift such as their talents, and 5) freedom from immorality andits consequences.
      In light of my daughter’s recent misunderstanding with her supposed besties, this message (especially the second part) hit the spot in my heart. I felt God talking to both of us about choosing the right friends. Also, since I have been pushing my son to accumulate new friends, I haven’t been a good parent by not checking first if the new kids I set him out to befriend will even be good influence for him. God spoke to my heart and said it’s not by quantity, but by quality.
      My two eldest kids also experienced their first teenage romance a while back, so pastor Tan Chi’s last message proved right. They were distracted, they underwent unnecessary pain, and they did get isolated from other friends by giving too much attention to their special someone. So this is all a lesson for us to take into heart. I have a feeling that they will take this into consideration the next time a budding romance comes up.

      Here’s a link  to pastor Tan Chi’s message. I hope you will be blessed by it, just as my family was. Have a God-filled week everyone! :)

      Here’s part 2 of the message! :)
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