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sMOTHERing..

smother

Definition: to overwhelm or suffocate.

The word smother literally means to deprive of oxygen, so it can be used to refer to someone who gets suffocated by a pillow. In everyday conversation, the word is often used to refer to the act of making someone feel like they’re being deprived of oxygen or personal space. 

– kill

– cause to die; put to death, usually intentionally or knowingly
DEPRIVE OF OXYGEN, CAUSE TO DIE, PUT TO DEATH. OMG. Exactly what I’m feeling now that I have 2 sMOTHERers within my midst. It’s not enough that I had 1, now they’re 2 in da haus. I DIE. @_@
I have days when I feel like I just wanna pack my bags & leave, never to return -I swear. And this is NOT being O.A.

Let me just ask, how many of you still live with your parents? How many of you have parents living with you? Believe me, if you’ve tasted independent living, going back to the past doth not dwell well for your sanity.

I guess moms will always be moms, no matter how old their kids get. Take me for example, I’m waaaay past my prime & every single movement I make my mom has an opinion or remark. Put my MIL on the same spot, double that. NKKLK!

Take for instance, I go up the stairs to my room after coming home. My mom catches a glimpse of me from her bedroom & hurriedly dashes out with her caregiver in tow to say “mag-ingat ka, madulas“. “Magbukas ka ng ilaw, madilim“. “Dahan-dahan baka mahulog ka“. And all the way up I’m rolling my eyes, taking deep breaths. Wooooo-saaaaaah..

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At the dinner table as we are eating, I call out to our cook..
me: Lorenaaaa?
my 2 parrots: Lorena.. Lorena (parang may echo)
me:pahingi naman ng ketchup please?
my 2 parrots: Lorena ketsaaap! Ketchup daw lorenaaaa! (sabi ko sa inyo may echo sa bahayeh!)
And when our cook doesn’t reply as quickly as they’d like, my mom goes: “Aba, bingi yata. Walang naririnig.” Then the 2 mudras would look at each other conspiratorially, snicker, and go into a multitude of sins & offenses committed by our cook that day. In chinese. Le sigh!

Sreeen print on paper. Clear text reads "post white"

Also at the dinner table:
mom: jena where are your ate & kuya
jena: they’re still in school amah
mom: they won’t eat here?
jena: they will amah when they come home.
mom: oh, where are they?
jena: they’re in school amah they’ll come home later pa.
mom: so they won’t eat here?
jena: chews her food, looks at me helplessly & pretends not to hear anything anymore. 😛

Sreeen print on paper. Clear text reads "post white"

At times when I’ve had a particularly long day & my patience level is so low that I’m just not in the mood for the 2 mudras, I slowly creep up to my room, then stay & wait for them to finish their meals before I sneak downstairs to eat mine in peace & quiet. But alas, there’s just no escaping them. As sure as the sun comes out each day, my mom will go up & knock loudly with consecutive raps that can wake even the dead..
mom: Jane may sakit ka?
me: ha? wala mommy bakit?
mom: hindi ka kumain?
me: maninit pa sobra mom mamaya nalang.
mom: (looks at me closely from head to foot determining the reason why I refused to eat) maga ang mata mo umiyak ka ba?
me: no mom, pulbo lang siguro yan.
mom: (doctor mode on -takes my pulse) kumusta ka?
me: ok lang mom.
mom: ayaw mo kumain?
me: mom, mainit pa sobra. mainit ang katawan ko, mamaya magpa-akyat ako ng pagkain.
mom: (looks at me some more. looks around the room) ano kinain mo?
me: wala pa mom, mamaya na. mainit.
mom: (sits quietly on my bed for another 30 seconds) jane, kumain ka na ba?
me: (masakit na ang batok ko by this time so I try a different approach) oo mom tapos na.
End of story, pinahaba ko pa kasi diba. Dapat pala umpisa palang sinabi ko tapos na, lol!

Sreeen print on paper. Clear text reads "post white"

As Kap & I prepare to leave for a date:
kap: Ma (his), alis na kami. Bye mommy (mine).
mama:san kayo punta?
mommy:aalis kayo?
kap:oo mag-date kami ni jane (I remain quiet, bracing myself for the barrage of questions that are sure to come)
mama:hindi kayo kakain dito?
mommy:saan kayo pupunta?
kap:sa labas kami kakain Ma. Sa ATC lang Momi.
mama:sige ingat dala kayo ng payong (even tough it’s summer)
mommy: jane magdala ka ng jacket baka malamig (even in sweltering heat)
me: bye ma, bye mommy

Sreeen print on paper. Clear text reads "post white"

While in the mall..
mom:ano gawin natin dito?
me:ikot lang tayo mom.
mom:ang bigat ng bag mo akin na kargahin ko
me: mom, hindi mo kaya ito mabigat
mom:akin na mabigat ang bag mo
me: mom, ako na. mabigat hindi mo nga kaya
mom:mabigat eh. akin na
Just to end the issue, I give her my bag. She can’t carry it, gives it back to me. “Jane ang bigat” GAAAAH!

Sreeen print on paper. Clear text reads "post white"

On forgetting things..
MIL: Jo nasaan na ang susi ko?
kap: Ewan ko sayo Ma hawak mo diba
MIL: Hindi. Kinuha mo sa akin.
kap: Ma, ni wala nga ako buong araw, hindi ko ginagalaw ang susi mo
MIL: Hay naku, kinuha mo ang susi ko kanina
(Everyone stops what they’re doing & searches for the missing set of keys)
MIL: Baka ninakaw ng mga katulong.
kap: Ma bakit naman nanakawin, saan mo ba huling nakita yung susi mo?
MIL: scratches her head. Kinuha mo nga kanina, wala sa akin! (gesturing to her self, palm to her heart)
WHAT IS THIS! May nakapa si mudra, naka-perdible lang pala sa kwelyo nya yung mahiwagang susi. KALOKA!!!

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I pray, I reeeeaaally pray long & hard, that I don’t give my kids this kind of smothering & headache when I’m old & gray. I pray.

MOTHERS! Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em!

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Nevertheless, happy mother’s day to a mom who loves too much and cares too deeply. I will always be thankful to God for extending your life & giving me more time to spend with you here on earth. I am what I am, and I have what I have because of you, Mommy. Hinay-hinay lang sana sa pagna-nanay. Remember, you brought me up to be a strong independent lady like you. So please ease up & give me space to breathe & move freely.

—-

With my luck, I’d probably end up the same, so kids -brace yourselves. After all, it’s in the genes lol.

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6 Comments

  • Reply NielGQ

    Hahahahaha… I know how you feel! My mom’s not this kulit, but she does have her moments. I can so relate to your experience. =)

    Belated Happy Mother’s Day, Jane! Mwah!

    May 9, 2016 at 8:07 am
    • Reply Jane Go

      At least may grand vacation soon – maka rest ako hehe

      May 9, 2016 at 11:35 am
  • Reply deanne

    Hahaha Super relate! My amah also always forgets where she leaves things and automatically blames our helper. ALWAYS.

    Even her B/P machine, she’ll say may gumamit because the way it is placed in the box is ‘different’, and of course there couldn’t possibly be anyone else who used it but the help (turns out it was my dad XD)

    I guess being traditional chinese they’ll always have that whole thing about not trusting the help. But they do mean well and they are just (over)protecting their own hehe

    Belated happy mother’s day ms. Jane. I’m sure you had a blast 🙂

    May 9, 2016 at 3:44 pm
    • Reply Jane Go

      Hay naku Deanne sinabi mo. Sakit sa bangs. I’m so clueless on what to do with them & how to keep peace in the house. My helpers of 12+ years are threatening to leave me naaaaa! :'((

      May 10, 2016 at 9:56 am
  • Reply med

    I guess mothers are like that! Thanks for sharing. Hope your fambam spoiled and pampered you last Mother’s Day. Can’t wait to read your post about it.

    May 10, 2016 at 6:52 am
    • Reply Jane Go

      And sana may blog ka din meding so I can get updates on YOUR transfer & mother’s day kaganapan haha. :-*

      May 10, 2016 at 8:49 am

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