Of Fathers & Dads..

Loved the Father’s day message in church. Heart Parenting: Become good role models to your children.

My honey is not a very active parent. He grew up in an environment where his father was the sole provider & left most of the parenting duties to the Mother. His father was also not affectionate at all. So this rubbed off on my hunny pie.. but I’m still trying my best to coax him out of this rut! :P

I can’t find a baby picture of my honey with his Dad :( This is the best I can come up with, how sad!

In spite of his passiveness, I can still claim with pride that he is a good role model for the kids, especially our boy. Their dad doesn’t have vices (except his sports). He doesn’t smoke, drink, gamble AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, mess with women! :) Guess I still have to be thankful to my FIL for those positive qualities my honey pie got from him! ;) And he treats me with so much love & kindness (except during those times when I’m a BRAT) that I know we’re somehow doing something right!

He sometimes swears like a sailor though, but he has toned down somewhat, with age! @_@

My honey is more of a “visiting uncle” type. Once in a while, he will play with the kids, then go off after sufficient time has been spent. Sometimes I’m not even sure if this is typical of a Dad because I never had one growing up. So I really don’t have a figure to compare him to. Sometimes, in rare occasions when our eldest daughter goes out with her friends ’til the early morning, I look at him in bed & wonder how he can go to sleep when our teenage daughter isn’t even safe at home yet!

Don’t get me wrong. When he’s with the kids, he’s great. He’s their ultimate playmate. He plays with them & stuff, but he doesn’t initiate it. I always have to nag him to spend time with the kids otherwise he’ll be off playing tennis, or basketball, or badminton in a heartbeat… buti nalang he hasn’t eyed golf yet! @_@

For him, picking up the kids in school is already BEING a dad. It’s world war 2 in our house trying to get him to go with me to parent-teacher meetings that sometimes I just let it pass. He has this notion that mothers attend to ALL the needs of the kids & fathers just look from afar & bobble their heads!

When the kids were still babies, not once did he change their diapers or give them baths. It was only when they could crawl that he had actual interactions with them. I seriously blame my FIL for this because not once have I seen a picture of him with my Hunny in his younger years. “Monkey see, monkey do”. So go figure! :(

Despite his imperfections as a Dad, he is a wonderful husband, which surprises me because it is so obvious that I occupy more space in his heart than the kids. He is very attentive to my needs & is very free with his displays of affection. But he is more stingy in his endearments with the kids. Again, his upbringing may have something to do with this because his father, when he was still alive, was very affectionate & loving towards my MIL, but never to his son.

I’m thankful that the kids have a Dad who comes home to us everyday. Whom we know we can count on come rain or shine. I know for a fact that he would go through hell & back for his kids. So maybe I’m just looking for something that really isn’t there? Maybe dads ARE built that way? That’s why God created MOMS??? ;))

For father’s day, the kids gifted their dad with a shirt & dinner voucher valid anywhere. My hunny chose President’s in binondo, no second thoughts about it. He LOVES chinese food! @_@

The kids know he loves statement shirts (F___ YOUR SELF)!!!
They found one they knew he would like from Nike.

At President’s. We were all hungry from laughing after the embarrassing fall I made just outside the restaurant.
I’m always falling & tripping. It’s kind of my trademark already! @_@
Ate feeding Dad shrimp. ONE. The kids all gobbled it up a few seconds after it was served! @_@
All our favorite food.. missing is duck because we just had duck overload from
our HK adventure so we’re kinda taking a break! ;)
The kids used these pictures as their profiles in facebook for Father’s day. Sooooo cute:
Ate’s first kiss! :)
The senior & the junior!
our baby gets her valentine from dad..

Happy Father’s Day, Honey. But I hope that in time (and more of Pastor Tan-Chi’s coaching hehe), you’ll be more than just a Father, but a beloved Dad! After all, the kids grow up so fast. Pretty soon, they won’t want to spend every waking hour with us anymore! :-*

An excerpt from Pastor Tan-Chi’s father’s day message: 

To be able to model effectively, you need to spend time with those you want to influence. The more time you spend with them, the greater your influence is. Put a high premium on your time with your family, don’t just give them left-over time & energy.

We need to ask ourselves: What do I want my child to become? and then be that ourselves. As a parent, are you living your life in such a way that you would be able to confidently tell your children, “Be imitators of me, just as I am also of Christ?” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Be a good role model, because your children will become who you are today.

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