My Kids Others


My girls are in that stage where they like to party. Ate is a young adult at 21 this November, and my Lovey a 16-er this October. I can’t keep them tied to me forever. I have to let them go at some point.

As a teen, and even a young adult, I didn’t get to party much. The story of my life has always been from the cradle to the nest. Or simply put, from my mom to my husband. Therefore I was never a party girl. Or lived independently like so many young girls do now. Freedom was not a luxury that I was able to taste. I lived with my mom until I got married at 25, then moved in with Kap -my one & only love from age 16 to forever, immediately after our wedding. So I am not socially “experienced”, if you call it that. On the bright side, I was delivered from all possible harm & danger because I was loved & cherished. 

I’d like to think that I’m a modern mom. I want my kids to be well rounded & enjoy their teenage life, so I allow them to go to parties PROVIDED & in the condition that 1.) they go in a big group, 2.) they take our driver at all times (or at least their brother or a bodyguard if I can get away with it) and 3.) They update me periodically via text or call so I know they haven’t been chopped & stuffed in a maleta.

I always explain to them that while I fully trust them. It’s the people around that I don’t. My girls have had a very sheltered life. They’ve always had me around, they’ve always been under my care. They see the world through a rose-colored glass. It is what it is. How I wish that the world they know is the world in reality, but it’s not.


Not so long ago, some of you have reacted negatively to my sentiments when I said girls are the weaker sex. Physically, I think it’s true. Mentally, definitely no. Outwitted? Yes. What I meant to say was, girls can get into deep $h!+ if they are not careful.

Do take the time to watch this video to fully appreciate that my fears are NOT unfounded. Rape, a mother’s worst nightmare.

Did you see? It only takes 2 seconds. 1 for you to turn away, and 1 for you to turn your head right back. 2 seconds is all it takes for a life to be ruined.

I always tell my kids, NEVER leave their drinks unattended (and NEVER go to the restroom or up the elevator by themselves) because F’d up things happen in our crazy world. I’d rather they buy another drink than take a chance & get drugged.

I know I have young readers, so please take heed of my motherly advice. These days, you just can’t trust anyone anymore. Not even your so-called friends. Sad, but true. So please always be careful. Better safe than sorry; better paranoid than dead.


Know that the majority of rapes are committed by a person the victim knows. The statistics vary, but it is said that only 9%-33% of rapists were complete strangers to the victim. This means that the vast majority of women are raped by men that they know, whether they are friends, people they are dating, co-workers, acquaintances, or even family members.

It’s important to take precautions. When you’re in a social situation with someone you know, be extra careful and don’t fully let your guard down unless you feel truly safe with the person. But even then, rape can occur. Know that if your gut tells you the situation is not okay, CALL SOMEONE, a female preferably, TO COME & GET YOU. Make an excuse, then wait in a well-lit & public place with plenty of people around.

Date rape is also extremely common — according to one study, nearly 1/3 of rapes are committed by a date. When you’re dating someone new, understand that no absolutely means no, and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty about knowing what you do and don’t want. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs clearly and loudly, if necessary.


How to Prevent Date Rape

For those who unfortunately went through this ordeal. Remember, rape doesn’t define you. They can take you body, but they can never take away your spirit. What you do after, and how you rise & get back on your feet, depends on YOU. Don’t let them win.

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  • Reply Kei Aclaro

    You are right, Ms. Jane… The world is much different now. It’s scarier for mothers kasi ang dami ng siraulong nagkalat. Better to be wary and alert at all times and to inform the kids of life’s harsh realities. I shared this video on FB too a day or two ago…

    Anyway, have a blessed Sunday po!

    June 7, 2015 at 8:20 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hi Kei! :-* Naku biglaan nga akong napa-post nito coz shocking the video. I saw it on my feed yesterday & felt it was my duty to share & spread.

      June 7, 2015 at 9:38 am
  • Reply Anna

    Thank you for sharing this Jane! It is best to be always alert talaga, and to have a plan in case.

    June 7, 2015 at 9:42 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you anna. :)

      June 7, 2015 at 9:44 am
  • Reply Noel Q.

    I know what you mean!!! I was in charge of my sister’s teenage daughter while she was in the US and I get FURIOUS when she doesn’t text me when she’s arrived at her destination. Mas lalo ka na siguro dahil sarili mong anak yan.

    One can never be too careful nowadays, dapat talaga laging alisto sa mga masasamang loob. I really hope a lot of parents and teens get to read this post (and other literature related to this subject) so that they will be well prepared.

    Have a great Sunday Jane!

    June 7, 2015 at 2:53 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you Niel enjoy US. Laki ng servings syempre inggit naman ako sayo. Napakainit dito huhu lahat mg fats ko umiiyak! @_@

      June 7, 2015 at 3:00 pm
      • Reply Noel Q.

        Sarap nga ng weather dito, parang Baguio for now kse summer, kaya full blast din ang aircon sa buong bahay, hehehe…

        June 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm
        • Reply sugargospice

          Ang saya saya!! <3

          June 7, 2015 at 7:29 pm
  • Reply michconstantino

    I appreciate my mom with this post… although she’s a bit lenient now since she told me I’m 24 na (She saw the picture when I went out with S and just told me, anak ba’t di ka man lang nag-ayos?) She often tells me be careful to whom I go out with.

    June 7, 2015 at 6:00 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      A mom’s famous last words & bilin when kids are leaving the house. ABC. Always Be Careful. ;)

      June 7, 2015 at 7:31 pm
  • Reply med

    Yes, it’s a big bad world out there! Ngayon pa lang hinahanda ko na ang sarili ko na maging driver/bodyguard ng kids while they party-parteey! Hahahahaha!!!

    June 7, 2015 at 8:08 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hay a mom’s job is never done meding. :)

      June 7, 2015 at 8:16 pm
  • Reply chesca labaro

    kaloka naman. parang ayoko na tuloy magdalaga tong anak ko. lalagay ko na sa ;ag kumbento.
    haha. nakakatakot na talaga sa mundong ibabaw. Always ingat na lang talaga.
    Never trust anyone. Ang gaganda pa naman po ng mga duaghters nyo Ms. Jane extra ingat lang talaga.

    June 13, 2015 at 2:27 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Naku chesca diba iba if you have daughters? Dati bwisit na bwisit ako sa higpit ng mom ko sakin but when I became a mom naintindihan ko. Totoo talaga yang kasabihan na yan. Grabe ang nerbyos ko whenever they go out. Mabuti nalang talaga good girls sila ate & lovey ko.

      June 13, 2015 at 9:55 am
  • Reply Mica C

    Wow Jane, this is such an eye-opener. Now that I’m a mom to a girl (kahit baby pa lang sya), I suddenly have all these fears that I never had before. Once you have children, you realize how the world is such a scary place. Thank you for sharing this.

    June 16, 2015 at 5:16 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Hi Mica! :) Yes our outlook changes once we have children of our own. It’s not the bringing them into the world that’s hard eh. It’s the raising them part. I really can’t sleep unless all of my loved ones are home safe & sound.

      June 16, 2015 at 5:58 pm

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