Relationships are complicated. Parang gulong yan, umiikot. Sometimes you’re high & on top of the world. Sometimes you feel rock-bottom low. In my 29 years with Kap, I’m already an expert at relationships. Papunta pa lang ang mga bagets, naka-ilang ikot na ako sa rotonda.
Some time ago, I noticed that not everything was right in my one of my children’s world. So I asked.. How’s your heart, anak? The reply, “heavy mom”. So we talk & I give the soundest & most impartial advice that I can. During the course of the days that followed, I asked again.. How’s your heart, anak? The reply, “a little better than yesterday mom. Not as heavy as before”. I sigh with a breath of small relief & hope for the best. But I worry. I always worry. It’s my job.
As moms, we have the infinite need to protect our kids. We want to look out for their best interest. When we see them sad, our immediate reaction is to try to solve their problems for them. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned being a mom, we have to let them fight their own battles. We will not be around forever so they have to toughen up & learn to survive in this world.
Those several days, I saw my child sad. This child whom I have given great care since birth. This child whom I have protected the best that I can so no pain can enter the life I have tried so hard to shelter. Pati lamok nga hindi ko pinapadapuan. Then all of a sudden, someone comes along & ruins your perfect world where your child is free from pain & heartaches. Along with love & joy, pain & sadness is also introduced. Problems start cropping up that ruins the harmony & balance you have worked so hard to build. You stand around looking helplessly, praying that everything will work out to your child’s advantage. But life doesn’t always work out the way you plan it to be.
As moms, even if we want to takes sides -to be blunt, take our child’s side, and trash talk the other to whoever will listen out of hurt & anger, we can’t. No matter who’s right & who’s wrong. Because there will come a time that they will patch things up & you can’t take back what you’ve said, or your opinion on the matter. The tables will turn and suddenly, you’re the one on the other side of the fence.
So hard as it may be, bear everything and shut your mouth. Think evil thoughts if you will, but never voice out an opinion that can complicate things & implicate you. You can never earn your child’s trust again once you cross the line. You must always, ALWAYS be on your children’s side, and let them know it. That you will always be there for them -never judging.
How’s your heart? Is it the heart of a tiger mom? Ready to fight at a moment’s notice? Or is your heart the heart of a lamb? Creating peace & harmony, there to patiently listen, there to wholeheartedly support. Never judging.
It won’t always be rainbows & unicorns. There will be days that when you ask your child, How’s your heart anak? And it won’t be well. But as moms, we need to lend our ears, listen. And give our shoulders for them to cry on. All we can do is kiss the boo-boo & in time, wait for it to be well. Life is not perfect, but remember.. there may not be unicorns, but there will always be a rainbow after the rain. Chances are, things will work out fine. They always do in the end. <3