I may have given you the impression that my life with Kap is a bed of roses. It’s not.
Like any husband and wife, we have squabbles. We have moments when we don’t agree on the same thing. When we find each other irritating. When we want to have a break, or a time out from each other. That’s perfectly normal. No relationship is perfect. Ours isn’t.
I love Kap. But he’s a noisy fella. I love the peace & quiet that solitude brings. He disrupts that. When he’s home, the TV is blaring that I can’t even hear myself think. Or the iPod is streaming loud music, which for me is nose because I never did like to play the radio or cd. His voice vibrates through the wall when he’s on the phone that I sometimes wonder if he’s gone deaf through the years we’ve been together that he can’t hear his own voice or how loud he is. He hogs all my pillows, crowds my bed & asks for foot rubs even when I’m busy typing away beside him. He looks over my phone & iPad when I’m reading & snoops at all my messages. He contradicts me in just about everything. BUT. I love him. And I absolutely can’t live without him.
To be fair, it ain’t a picnic living with me either with my moods & idiosyncrasies.
There will come a point in time that you just want to give up on love because of your differences. Or a huge big fight has erupted and you lose yourself, your focus. STOP. Rewind. Your love for each other is a gift. Sure, a fight can temporarily cloud your judgement. A fight can lead to unretractable angry & hurtful words that can sway you to the course of self destruction, pushing your spouse away to cause him the same hurt & pain you are feeling. Again, STOP. PAUSE. BREATH. Take a break, have a kitkat! ;)
Think back to the time when you were just starting. When you were falling in love & life was a bed of roses. Think about his good traits, what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Think of the life you have built together, the dreams you have shared & made into reality. Then unpause. Resume. Hate the fight, but LOVE THE GIFT. Everything will be ok. With love, nothing is impossible.
“Impossible to live with you but I know I could never live without you”