Kap & Me My Kids

Love, Ms. Piggy (Love & Affection)

People often ask me what I did or how I “trained” my husband & kids to be loving & affectionate towards me. I don’t think you can actually “train” them to be who & what you want them to be, lels.

Kap & I both come from a family where affection is not freely given. My mom is not a hugger or a kisser. She doesn’t give compliments. I know that she loves me -truly & greatly, but words of affirmation & love, as well as random warm, gentle caress were very very scarce.

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Lalo na my dad. I NEVER heard him say the words “I love you” to me even until his last breath. I think I heard him call me “anak” once & that was it. The only acknowledgement that he sired me. Parents sometimes think it’s automatic for their kids to know they are loved. Well, how’s this for a fact? I never felt my dad’s love. EVER. And where did that get him? Forsaken & Forgotten.

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Having Kap & the kids in my life has changed my life drastically for the better. Whereas my disposition before was surly & depressing, now I wake up each morning jolly & happy. Life for me couldn’t get any better with them in it. And to be honest, I am pretty aware that it really shows. Happiness is a feeling that you just can’t hide.

I guess I was starved for contact growing up which is why I’m such a touchy-feely person now.  Kap has always warned me against it because not all like to be touched. Some even cringe (to my horror). But if comes as second nature to me, to hug people whom I don’t even know or have met for the very first time. I like to casually stroke the arms, or pat the shoulder when I talk to people be they friends, acquaintances, or strangers. It’s like I connect more with that brief & small brush.

I also use the word “I LOVE YOU” freely, not that I don’t mean it, but because it’s what I truly feel. I fall in love in an instant. It really doesn’t take much for me to fall in love with you. A nice gesture, a genuine smile, a thoughtful text message. True friendship. I’m yours. Hook, line & sinker.

So I guess that’s the way my kids grew up. They see me give love and affection freely so they unintentionally mimic it. Even when they were babies I would always cuddle them & whisper in their ears how much I love them. So now, it’s just normal & natural for them to show me the same.

How are you with your husband & kids? Love and affection goes a long loooong way in brightening up a day, or making them feel better after a bad day. Be it a slight touch, a brief cuddle, or words that convey how much you love and care for them. Sometimes, thinking it is not enough. Saying it out loud will be most appreciated. Try it. :)

 

 

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14 Comments

  • Reply Noel Q.

    Ikaw touchy-feely???? Hindi halata! hahahahaha… just kidding. =)

    Jane! Sobrang cuuuuuuuuuute mo sa baby pic mo!!!! AS IN!

    Tama ka, ipakita na dapat at ipaalam sa mga minamahal mo ang pag-ibig mo sa kanila. Maikli ang buhay, huwag na dapat maghintay hanggang huling sandali bago mo ito ipaalam sa kanila.

    November 24, 2014 at 4:46 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      chengkyu. If only I can remain cure foerevermore hahaha! :-*

      November 24, 2014 at 8:33 am
  • Reply med

    Awwwwwwww!!!
    This post truly comes from the heart!
    What I read here, I apply!
    I am learning a lot from you.
    Thank you so much.

    November 24, 2014 at 8:59 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Awwww thank you meding for always uplifting my spirits & supporting in all my posts! <3

      November 24, 2014 at 9:03 am
  • Reply Frannywanny

    sorry i cant help but notice na…. ang flawless ng face mo!!! :)

    ok serious na,this entry reminded me of the 1st time we met how warm you instantly were and how you openly hugged me and told me you love me (and I love you too!!)

    November 24, 2014 at 11:11 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      phoooootoshoooop franny!! ;)) puro bako ang mukha ko if not for photoshop grabe. Next to you sya ang BFF ko hahahahaha! :P

      November 24, 2014 at 11:42 am
      • Reply frannywanny

        awwww sweet!!! <3 Well I can't wait to see you again next month Jane!

        November 24, 2014 at 1:14 pm
        • Reply sugargospice

          Meeeee tooooo!!! <3

          November 24, 2014 at 1:52 pm
  • Reply michconstantino

    This entry reminds me how my comments were so welcome into SSEN. Hope to meet you soon. :)

    Can’t comment yet on the husband part (I’m 23 and NBSB since then) but when it comes to my mom and dad, my dad is the one I share a lot of things with… basketball, books even love for beauty pageants (He’s working at the Main Bldg of Araneta Center which is why he entertains my thoughts of anything Bb. Pilipinas related) but both of them say I love you often :D

    November 24, 2014 at 1:15 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      I’m happy that you’re a daddy’s girl. Sarap siguro ng feeling. :-*

      November 24, 2014 at 1:53 pm
  • Reply candy pino

    Mommy Jane, it kinda saddens me the part where you said you have “forsaken and forgotten” your dad. Please don’t. I am sure he only has your best interest at heart and since there is no course on parenting, he probably did it based on how he was raised. A part of him lives in you and look how awesome you are as a friend, as a mom and as a wife.

    Love, love, love!

    November 24, 2014 at 2:34 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      Thank you so much Candy! You have such a kond heart! <3 Mwah!

      November 24, 2014 at 2:36 pm
  • Reply Cherrie Lou Vivares

    I also came from a family that affection is not easily given. We kissed but that’s it. No I LOVE YOU’s all the time. So when the time came that i had a family i make it a point to always say to them how much i love them. And sorry when i did themcwrong. Thanking themfor everything.

    November 25, 2014 at 1:29 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      We learn from past mistakes so we can improve & be the best that we can be. :-*

      November 25, 2014 at 1:33 am

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