People often ask me what I did or how I “trained” my husband & kids to be loving & affectionate towards me. I don’t think you can actually “train” them to be who & what you want them to be, lels.
Kap & I both come from a family where affection is not freely given. My mom is not a hugger or a kisser. She doesn’t give compliments. I know that she loves me -truly & greatly, but words of affirmation & love, as well as random warm, gentle caress were very very scarce.
Lalo na my dad. I NEVER heard him say the words “I love you” to me even until his last breath. I think I heard him call me “anak” once & that was it. The only acknowledgement that he sired me. Parents sometimes think it’s automatic for their kids to know they are loved. Well, how’s this for a fact? I never felt my dad’s love. EVER. And where did that get him? Forsaken & Forgotten.
Having Kap & the kids in my life has changed my life drastically for the better. Whereas my disposition before was surly & depressing, now I wake up each morning jolly & happy. Life for me couldn’t get any better with them in it. And to be honest, I am pretty aware that it really shows. Happiness is a feeling that you just can’t hide.
I guess I was starved for contact growing up which is why I’m such a touchy-feely person now. Kap has always warned me against it because not all like to be touched. Some even cringe (to my horror). But if comes as second nature to me, to hug people whom I don’t even know or have met for the very first time. I like to casually stroke the arms, or pat the shoulder when I talk to people be they friends, acquaintances, or strangers. It’s like I connect more with that brief & small brush.
I also use the word “I LOVE YOU” freely, not that I don’t mean it, but because it’s what I truly feel. I fall in love in an instant. It really doesn’t take much for me to fall in love with you. A nice gesture, a genuine smile, a thoughtful text message. True friendship. I’m yours. Hook, line & sinker.
So I guess that’s the way my kids grew up. They see me give love and affection freely so they unintentionally mimic it. Even when they were babies I would always cuddle them & whisper in their ears how much I love them. So now, it’s just normal & natural for them to show me the same.
How are you with your husband & kids? Love and affection goes a long loooong way in brightening up a day, or making them feel better after a bad day. Be it a slight touch, a brief cuddle, or words that convey how much you love and care for them. Sometimes, thinking it is not enough. Saying it out loud will be most appreciated. Try it. :)