Kap & Me My Kids Others

Heart to Heart

One night not so long ago, Kap & our bunso had a heart to heart. They don’t do this often. I think the last time they had one was over 2 years ago when my Lovey just transferred school & she didn’t want to stay. They had a long discussion but the matter remained unresolved & hanging.

And now we’re back at that same bridge. So father & daughter had a heart to heart again. I was there to be the interpreter because of the language barrier. Inglisera kasi si bunso, mag-nosebleed na naman si Kap my Kap. Joke! (1/2).


I was there to give Lovey my 101% support. I don’t know why but she & her father never had an open line of communication. They’d small talk, sometimes grunt at each other, but most of the time they are in the same room but not minding one other. Either Kap is talking to me, or the kids are talking to me. Seldom to each other. Hindi uso sa bahay namin ang daddy’s girl. They are all Mommy’s girls & Mama’s boy. Oh wait, si Jela pala, natatanging daddy’s girl! :P

PicMonkey Collage

When it comes to the kids, it has always been me, the mother, whom they turn to. For everything -big, medium, small or extra small. I’m gone 5 minutes they are already looking for me. Sometimes they won’t see their dad the whole day & they won’t even realize it until I bring up the matter.



This is why I cannot die yet. Hindi pa talaga pwede Lord, please. Their dad doesn’t know how to talk to them. His approach with them is always wrong. Either he drives them crazy or he’s always raising his voice. So the kids really don’t mind him. More often than not, they ignore him & take root in my corner.

Ako naman, kunsintidor. I’m the favorite so I’m a happy duck. But now I’m slowly seeing the error of my ways. Kap NEEDS to be able to talk to the kids without me as a bridge. The time will come that he has to cope by himself. What then? Who will the kids turn to?

I want to impose a date day between him & one of the kids at least once a month. They’d be forced to talk & get to know each other if it’s just the 2 of them. The thing is Kap is always so busy. Whatever time he has we use it for family time. Whatever time he has left he uses it for his sports activities. There is nothing left for a one-on-one.

Kaloka! I have to remedy this situation asap.


On another note, dear baby girl, I hope we made the right decision. Crossing my fingers that you will be as happy in your new environment as you were in your old one. 2 years is super fast, you’ll barely notice it, I promise. This is for the family, thank you for taking one for the team. I love you, welcome back to school my love!

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  • Reply Noel Q.

    Another heartfelt post… HINDI KA PA PWEDENG MAWALA ANO! Pag nawala ka, mababawasan ng kulay ang mundo! huhuhu…

    Pero dapat nga talaga mag-establish ng communication ang mga kids with their dad before everything is too late. Mabuti naman at gumagawa ka ng hakbang para mangyari yun.

    Have a great week ahead Jane! Tigilan ang pagsalita na mawawala ka! Noooooooooo! hehehe

    June 8, 2015 at 8:23 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Awww you love me so much Niel salamuch! <3 Type ko talagang maging rainbow haha! Bigla tuloy kitang na-miss. Ang consolation ko lang eh uuwian mo ako ng balikbayan box filled with all things U.S. !! Oist daming outlet jan ha wag kalimutan mga bags & shoes size 9 pls. :))

      June 8, 2015 at 10:40 am
  • Reply Kei Aclaro

    Good day, Ms. Jane! I can very well relate to this post. I guess because the dad is always busy with work or the business that the kids grew up with the line of thinking that “As long as there’s mom, everything is gonna be fine”… Kaya ang tendency po talaga kapag nasa house ang dad, AWKWARD moment talaga between him and the kids kasi we don’t know how to “handle” each other.

    Tama po kayo na the mother should be the bridge between the kids and the father. Tell Kap po na kahit once in a while he should spend some time with each kid and to STAYLISTEN. This means po na at first it’s gonna be really uncomfortable between the two of them but he has to STAY and never force the kid to talk… Just LISTEN with his heart and soul… Once the kid is comfortable enough dyan na po mag uumpisa ang small talk. It will take some time kasi nasa awkward stage then po kids nyo eh. But I am praying to God everything will be fine.

    June 8, 2015 at 8:28 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      Wow I like the STAYLISTEN advice Kei thank you so much for sharing! <3 Yes I will do my best to push them together para masanay. :-*

      June 8, 2015 at 10:39 am
      • Reply Kei Aclaro

        Yes, Ms. Jane… Ang tendency po kasi ng mga Dads kapag may awkward moments with their kids is to either, literally leave or go inside their own cocoon and that doesn’t really help at all para ma-bridge yung gap between them. Kailangan mag stay put and give each other, especially the kids, sometime to get used to their presence sa buhay nila.

        This is the same thing I have been telling my husband kasi absentee father sya because he works abroad. When he went home, I just told him to STAYLISTEN to our son. At first, syempre the kid will always look for the mother but as soon as the kid knows that his father is okay to be with, play with or talk to, mawawala na po ang barrier. It worked for us so I hope it will help you too… :)

        June 8, 2015 at 11:02 am
        • Reply sugargospice

          Best advice ever Kei love you thank you for always having my back! :-*

          June 8, 2015 at 11:03 am
  • Reply Chel

    Can’t relate because I’m a daddy’s girl through and through pero natawa ko, ansama mo Miss Jane sabi mo, mag nosebleed si Kap! :D

    The monthly bonding date is a great idea!

    Pramis, di ka sasama ha?

    June 8, 2015 at 8:31 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      hahahahaha pramis hindi ako sasama! Padalhan ko si Kap ng dictionary at thesaurus HAHAHAHAHA! (joke. 1/2) ;))

      June 8, 2015 at 10:37 am
  • Reply michconstantino

    This post is <3 warming, I love the way you are to your kids Mommy Jane.

    I have an opposite relationship… I'm much closer to my dad, My dad has been supportive of my Master's Degree because I wanted to teach and has been around in every school activity. My mom meanwhile is a career-oriented person but don't get me wrong, I love them so much! :) They each had their thoughts on my future since I'm 24 and I opted to take a Doctorate Degree by 2016.

    June 8, 2015 at 8:36 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      I think most couples are like that. :) They complement each other & make up for one another’s pagkukulang haha. But all parents love their children dearly. May mas showy lang. Thank you mich mwah! :-* Go go go for your doctorate degree woohoo!!

      June 8, 2015 at 10:36 am
      • Reply michconstantino

        Mom said: Doctorate Degree? May balak ka bang mag-asawa? :)) Yup if ever I still can, I’m going.

        June 8, 2015 at 12:55 pm
        • Reply sugargospice

          hahaha motivation! ;))

          June 8, 2015 at 1:09 pm
  • Reply med

    Awwwww love this post.
    Kap needs to date his bunso (not Lelly).
    Is she gonna transfer to a new school?

    June 8, 2015 at 11:23 am
    • Reply sugargospice

      She had her first day elsewhere today meding. :) Less stressful environment for her AND me haha kasi wala nang dusa sa everyday pila sa traffic. :P

      June 8, 2015 at 12:01 pm
  • Reply trisha_cm

    Is she finally in W?

    June 8, 2015 at 1:07 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      No :)

      June 8, 2015 at 1:09 pm
  • Reply michymichymoo

    Walang bang subtitle sa baba para no need to translate, Mama Bear? hahahaha. Joke lang. Best of luck on your new school, Lovey!!! :)

    I could relate kasi I knew my dad late in life na because he used to work abroad. Pero ok nanaman. He gives me more freedom than my mom does. :P

    June 8, 2015 at 1:55 pm
    • Reply sugargospice

      HAHAAHHAAHAH bentaaaa yang subtitle bbbeary!! Magamit nga sa ibang blogpost ko hahaha. :-*

      June 8, 2015 at 3:54 pm

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