It’s funny how you should ask me this. A while back, 2 well-know christian personalities got married -to each other. It was indeed a very controversial love affair that got the tongues wagging & eyebrows lifting. The bride a divorcee, the groom a very recent widower. He proposed when his late wife, who passed away after a lingering illness, was barely cold under the ground & her flesh has not even separated from her bones. And although I don’t know both of them personally, it really left a bad taste in my mouth. And my view of them as christian leaders changed dramatically.
You see, not so long ago, the groom professed his love to his dying wife.. for better or for worse. On Facebook for all to see. Everyone praised him for being such a good & devoted husband. And I’m sure he did his part faithfully & excellently. But then less than 4 months into her death, he met & found another lady whom he claimed made his heart sing again and turned his sorrow into joy & dancing. And soon after they were engaged -not even letting the common practice of pagbababang-luksa take place, then eventually getting married.
Being only human, of course we are selfish. We want to be remembered & cherished even after our passing. It’s but natural. At first, I was very hurt for the wife who passed. I mean she would be turning in her grave if she knew, I thought. Just imagine how she looked wasting away from her disease & then all of a sudden she has been replaced by a beauty queen in the heart of her husband who couldn’t wait to love again.
But then I saw the happiness in each of the new bride & groom. (yes, thank you Facebook for giving us a glimpse into the lives of other people. Ang sarap lang maki-chisimis diba.) Which made me re-think my disposition on their whole affair. Don’t they deserve a second chance? It IS lonely to be alone. Truly they deserve another try at happiness?!
Speaking for myself, I would want my husband to wait a year at least before he sets out to find a new love. I’m not against him remarrying, I love him too much for him to be alone in his twilight years. I know the kids will have their own lives soon, so I would want him to also have a companion, someone who will love him, take care of him & hold his hand as they grow old together. But all I’m asking for is consideration. Be considerate of the years we have spent together & to respect that by giving tribute to our love & not being selfish for at least a year. A year is all I ask. Not after 4 months. Ano ba, naglaro lang tayo? Nag-bahay-bahayan? Naka-move on ka na agad? Respect me enough, respect our marriage enough to at least mourn for me for a longer period. But this is just me.
I don’t know where you’re coming from. I don’t know if you came from a happy marriage or not. I don’t know how your relationship was. All I can impart to you is MY feelings on the matter.
All I know is, TRUE LOVE WAITS. Surely, another couple of months more will not hurt? If not for yourself, then do it for your kids -if you have any. Think long & hard to determine if you owe it to them, not even to your husband who has passed if you weren’t in an ideal relationship. But to your kids, or the parents of your husband who passed at least, if you would honor them by waiting. 8 months flies by so swiftly. Ask yourself long & hard.. why the rush?
I know death brings on a new perspective. Just like that, in a snap, our lives can be over. So maybe you are in a rush. You want to have a happy ending that you never had. But maybe, just maybe, you can wait a bit. Take this time to love yourself. To find yourself.
To answer your question. YES. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. You deserve a second chance. But wait.
Love, Ms. Piggy
Dear readers, if there is anything you would like to add, feel free to do so on the comment section below. :)