I have just recently finished reading the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. She was born in the Philippines but was raised in the States.
It has gotten a lot of flak in the review, so many haters! But I actually found it funny! ;)) Her ways are truly out of this world.. she is SUPER STRICT!! You can’t help but feel sorry for her daughters but at the same time laugh at how she gets her way (most of the time)!
Here’s an excerpt from her book:
Part One The Tiger, the living symbol of strength and power, generally inspires fear and respect.
The Chinese Mother
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover • have a playdate • be in a school play • complain about not being in a school play • watch TV or play computer games • choose their own extracurricular activities • get any grade less than an A • not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama • play any instrument other than the piano or violin • not play the piano or violin.
I’m using the term “Chinese mother” loosely. I recently met a supersuccessful white guy from South Dakota (you’ve seen him on television), and after comparing notes we decided that his working-class father had definitely been a Chinese mother. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish, and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise.
I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. Western parents come in all varieties. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that Westerners are far more diverse in their parenting styles than the Chinese. Some Western parents are strict; others are lax. There are same-sex parents, Orthodox Jewish parents, single parents, ex-hippie parents, investment banker parents, and military parents. None of these “Western” parents necessarily see eye to eye, so when I use the term “Western parents,” of course I’m not referring to all Western parents – just as “Chinese mother” doesn’t refer to all Chinese mothers.
All the same, even when Western parents think they’re being strict, they usually don’t come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments thirty minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It’s hours two and three that get tough.
Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that “stressing academic success is not good for children” or that “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.” By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be “the best” students, that “academic achievement reflects successful parenting,” and that if children did not excel at school then there was “a problem” and parents “were not doing their job.” Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams.
This brings me to my final point. Some might think that the American sports parent is an analog to the Chinese mother. This is so wrong. Unlike your typical Western overscheduling soccer mom, the Chinese mother believes that (1) schoolwork always comes first; (2) an A-minus is a bad grade; (3) your children must be two years ahead of their classmates in math; (4) you must never compliment your children in public; (5) if your child ever disagrees with a teacher or coach, you must always take the side of the teacher or coach; (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and (7) that medal must be gold.
I guarantee you that this is an entertaining read—lively and humorous, written with the intent to shock! More controversial is her stereotyping of Chinese and Western cultures, not to mention her authoritarian parenting methods. Her teenage daughters are undeniably accomplished (both wonderful musicians & top-honor students), but at what emotional cost? While some reviewers found that her technique borders on abuse and her writing was at best, self-serving, others were impressed by her parenting results.
With her beautiful & accomplished daughters: The headstong Lulu (violin) & the meek and obedient Sophia (piano).
Another book I loved is FRESH OFF THE BOAT by Melissa dela Cruz, a filipino author who also made it international! ;) It’s a story of a family who, due to economic reasons, decided to migrate to the States. Whereas in the Philippines they used to shop in Rustan’s, they are forced to shop in Salvation Army in the states. You might think this is a pitiful read but it’s not.. it’s actually HI:LARIOUS! ;)) Like when the father brought popcorn & plastic bags to a movie so they could cut costs (so typically filipino hahaha!). It also focuses on bullying so the kids can definitely relate to this book.
This is actually somewhat her tale, according to the author, who migrated to the states as a young girl.
Here’s a press summary:
Vicenza’s family moves to California from Manila, hoping to start a better life after a family friend embezzles all their money; but it gets a lot worse. At Vicenza’s new school, she gets picked on for not wearing the newest fashion trends. Her family suffers with money and have to work extra hard at their cafeteria to earn.
The book Fresh Off the Boat is realistic fiction. In this book there are stores like Sears, Mc Donalds, Outback Steakhouse,and Hechts, and movies like Stephen King and Bruce Almighty. There are also television shows like American Idol, The Real World, Fear Factor, and Primetime Live
Vicenza parents were way over protective when it came to shopping, boys, cell phones, looks, and being totally cool. They gave Vicenza a cell phone but only because everyday they want to find out what time Vicenza was going to get to the cafe from school. Also when she was picking out a dress for the Montclair Academy-Grosvernor School for Girls Annual Soiree’d’Hiver. Vicenza’s mom picked out from Salvation Army a flashback to the 1980’s dress, wtih three layers of ruffles, alternates pink and black, and has a butt bow.
Fresh Off the Boat was a very well written realistic fiction book with issues like bullying which is apt for teens. Vicenza steadily worked at her family’s cafeteria business at Sears to occupy her non-existent social life. Since she moved to America her life became a nightmare.
On a lighter note, and totally non-related haha! I’m super in love with this watch!!! <3 <3 <3 Someone puhleeeeeezzzeeee BUY this for me!!!! ;))